Checking Emotional Baggage at the Gate

We’ve all done it. Packed too much for a trip, convinced we’ll “need” six pairs of shoes, three jackets, and that extra curling iron — only to find ourselves dragging a suitcase that feels like it’s full of bricks down a cobblestone street.

Carrying a Little too Much Baggage

When I traveled to Rome, I thought I had it figured out. Carry-on only? Please. I was a pro. But for a month-long adventure, I panicked. What if I needed more? So my carry-on queen status turned into a large checked bag, a stuffed carry-on, a bursting backpack, and my medical kit.

Cobblestones hate Luggage

And let me tell you: pulling those bags uphill on Roman cobblestones? I regretted every single “just in case” outfit.

But here’s the kicker: my emotional baggage was even heavier. I was adjusting to an empty nest, grieving the end of a long-term relationship, and building a new business after leaving a career I thought I’d retire from. I was in a foreign country, tight on money, with no safety net. And while I made amazing memories and even met someone who could make me laugh until my ribs hurt, I learned the hard way that if you don’t check your baggage before boarding, it follows you right into your hotel room.

Checking The Four Emotional Baggage Claim Lines at the Gate

If airlines have baggage claim belts, we should too. Here are the four I see most often (and, honestly, have visited myself):

1. Carry-On Chaos → Trust issues and control vibes. Too much crammed into a tiny space.

2. Overweight Luggage → Ex drama that keeps sneaking back in your life, no matter how many times you toss it.

3. Lost & Found → Ghosting, breadcrumbing, hot-and-cold men. Disappearing acts that leave you questioning everything.

4. Duty-Free Delusion → Men who look great on paper but come with hidden costs once you dig deeper.

Sound familiar? Yeah… we’ve all been stuck at these claim belts at some point.

The Baggage Fees We Pay

Carrying too much baggage comes with hidden costs:

• Settling too fast — jumping into something before it’s ready just to feel secure.

• Ignoring red flags — laughing off bad behavior because we don’t want to rock the boat.

• Losing confidence — shrinking ourselves so we don’t scare someone away.

And unlike Spirit Airlines, no one tells you the cost up front. But trust me: the fees are outrageous.

Your Boarding Pass to Freedom

So how do we deal with baggage? We check it at the gate. One of my favorite tools is writing a breakup letter to your baggage.

It can be funny, serious, or both. Here’s an example:

“Dear Baggage, you’ve been heavy, ugly, and you never matched my shoes. I’m leaving you here at the gate, unclaimed, forever.”

Or, if you want to go deeper:

“Dear Fear of Abandonment, you’ve controlled too many of my choices. You made me say yes when I should’ve said no. Tonight, I’m leaving you here at Gate 42. Wrong flight, wrong gate, wrong woman.”

Want to write your own? I created a free worksheet to guide you through the process. Download the Emotional Baggage Worksheet Here:

Checking Emotional Baggage Worksheet.pdf

Download PDF • 1.90MB

Final Boarding Call

The best trips are the ones where you pack light, and you have checked that Baggage at the Gate, Real or Emotional. The best relationships are too.

So ask yourself: what baggage are you carrying that’s costing you peace, joy, or sparkle? And what would it feel like to leave it unclaimed, right here, today?

Because here’s the truth: only you can decide what makes it on your boarding pass.